Mysterious Mustique: Inside the Secret Island Hideaway

“It looks like our VIP guest has arrived,” said my brother, casually, on our final day on the island of Mustique. I looked up to see Daniel Craig strolling into the beach bar and tried not to choke on my club sandwich. He was wearing a dark, loose-fitting linen shirt and even darker sunglasses. We all made a concerted effort to act as if his arrival was the least interesting thing that’s ever happened.

The scene was that of every James Bond movie ever made – an impossibly turquoise ocean backed by deserted tropical greenery and a slither of porcelain sand. A singular beach bar serving elegantly-dressed guests, with the clink of cutlery marring perfectly against the rush of waves on the sand. However, in a move most unlike Bond, Craig greeted the catering staff warmly, who fussed over his four-year-old while Rachel Weisz looked on fondly.

Herein lies the remarkable magic of holidays in Mustique…

It’s understated elegance on a monumental scale: barefoot luxury gone mad. It’s 100 opulent villas, fit for a princess, cobbled together by unpaved roads and sandy driveways. It’s not a place to see and be seen, but rather, a place to be and let be. There’s an unspoken agreement between islanders, one that stipulates absolute discretion at all times. In fact, every arrival is vetted by the Mustique Company to ensure a completely private experience for guests; a paparazzi-free paradise is all but guaranteed.

Once popular with Princess Margaret and a posse of weathered rock stars, the island still draws some of the world’s most famous faces today. The duke and duchess of Cambridge are known to frequent Mustique for family holidays, while Mick Jagger is said to own several properties.

I’m embarrassed to admit I’d been hoping to spot a celebrity all week, and boy, did Mustique deliver. We’d heard rumours Daniel Craig had arrived on the island, although, like most things on Mustique, real insider knowledge was impenetrable.

There are three types of people on Mustique. There are the laidback locals, who live in a cluster of cottages in the charming Lovell Village, and generally, work for the Mustique Company as hospitality staff or security. Then there are the villa owners: island royalty (and in some cases, real-life royalty).

They’re easy to spot when they frequent one of the island’s social gathering spots, such as the notorious Basil’s Bar. Eccentrically dressed, they are showered with greetings from all angles, throwing air kisses to any who leaps up to receive them, Cartier bangles jangling. The staff bustle around them, offering service with a smile reserved solely for the prized proprietors.

The third and final group are what I like to call ‘punters’ – occasional or one-time visitors who earn their stay on the island by paying through the nose for a villa rental or room at the Cotton House Hotel. That’s not to say there’s a class-based discriminatory atmosphere on Mustique. Quite the opposite in fact.

Villa owners can regularly be found around the Cotton House or Basil’s Bar, dishing out invites to parties to any punter that crosses their path. It seems de rigueur for the folks at the top of the food chain to host a soiree or several during their stay. Nowhere else have I witnessed such a generous display of hospitality, where the world’s richest rub shoulders with perfect strangers after welcoming them to their home on a whim.

During our stay, we attended several of these strange little soirees, each of which was more mind-boggling than the last. From lethal gin and tonics by a sweeping infinity pool, to cocktails with panoramic views of the entire island, you never know where a day on this crazy island might take you.

Getting to Mustique: A Head Trip

The whole experience is one long head trip, redefining the concept of glamour from the moment you step off the plane. On arrival in St. Lucia airport, I had the impression we would be secretly whisked away to a plush lounge to await our private jet. The actual experience was a little more grounding.

While you do join a separate immigration queue, the organisation of said queue leaves a little to be desired, and I soon found myself sitting on the airport floor filling out forms on the back of a WHSmith paperback. Not exactly the aura of extravagant exclusivity I had been expecting.

The entrance to the Mustique lounge offers a little hope, with its bamboo-clad desk and alluring turquoise logo overhead. Go through there, and you’ll find a poky room filled with blue plastic seats. Here, we were brusquely patted down before being told to take a seat. Surely… this couldn’t be the ‘Mustique airport lounge’ described on the paperwork?

After taking our seats next to a half-eaten sandwich, my fiancé and I looked at each other in dismay. Was this strange secretive place a complete illusion after all? A sort of Fyre Fest in holiday form, attracting the rich and gullible like moths to a flame?

After 10 increasingly desperate minutes, we were spotted by a Harris Handler in high-vis, and hurried outside to the real lounge, which had proper chairs and a bar. We settled in to earwig on our fellow Mustique travellers, whose predictably plummy voices told of ski holidays in Verbier and previous visits to the island. Before long, it was time to board our plane, where the second culture shock of the day awaited.

The 18-seat puddle jumper was cramped, hot, and kind of terrifying. Our stomachs lurched as we bumped and jumped off the runway, but as we headed into the clouds, the magic of Mustique became a little clearer. Mesmerising scenery floated past the propeller as we passed by St. Vincent and landed by a tiny, tropical, terminal with a thatched roof – the sort of building you might mistake for a Tiki bar if it wasn’t adjacent to a runway. This time, we really were ‘whisked’ away to our designated vehicle, which had us delivered by the door of the Cotton House within five short minutes.

Mustique Hotels: The Cotton House

The Cotton House is the only hotel on the island. If you choose to stay here, you’ll be greeted with an aperitif in the aptly named Great Room, a colonial cocktail emporium like no other. Every Tuesday, the hotel hosts a party for some quintessential Mustique mingling, or you can try your hand in the weekly Backgammon tournament instead. The building’s wraparound Veranda is also the setting for breakfast and intimate candlelit dinners come the evening.

There are a few different room categories at The Cotton House but all are equally alluring. We stayed in a charming little Caribbean cottage overlooking the gardens, with a spacious bathroom and terrace. Meanwhile, others in our party had rooms overlooking the sea, with a beautiful balcony and a bathtub with a view. Some rooms come with a private plunge pool, while The Residence is more of a villa than a suite, with space for four guests.

Things to Do in Mustique

For us, days on the island usually consisted of some early morning exercise in the form of a beach walk or swim (thanks jet lag), followed by an indulgent breakfast on the Veranda. The Cotton House ‘Caribbean hash brown’ has to be up there with the best I’ve ever tasted. You’ll also be given a small water pistol at breakfast to keep the pesky birds at bay – just another of the island’s charming little quirks.

Of course, no trip to Mustique would be complete without hiring a golf buggy to explore some of the island’s beaches. For some fun yet unfathomable reason, buggies are known as mules on Mustique, and every villa rental comes with one. They can also be rented by Cotton House for an unreasonably large fee.

We made the most of our mule days by visiting every beach on the island. Our favourite by far was Gelliceaux Bay, accessible by a winding stone path around the headland, where waves regularly break over your feet as you walk. This was said to be Princess Margaret’s favourite too, and it’s easy to see why.

Once you’ve had your fill of castaway-style seclusion, Cotton House will deliver a picnic to the neighbouring beach, complete with tablecloths, crockery, and Tupperware filled with treasures.

Sea-life lovers should make a point of snorkelling right by Basil’s Bar – where you’ll find a resident family of sea turtles nibbling sea grass at all times. Other on-island activities include horse riding and tennis, although basking in the sun on the beach was my preferred position.

Places to Eat

Our evening rotations included The Beach House, the Veranda, and Basil’s bar, or some combination of all three. There is only one other restaurant on the island, run by locals and known as The View. An evening there is recommended if you need some light relief from crazy displays of wealth. Unsurprisingly, this restaurant also has a lovely view of the bay.

For lunch, there’s also a tiny bakery which can be found sandwiched in between the only two shops on the island.

I went on this trip not knowing what to think about the mysterious island of Mustique. I came away from it with a strange case of separation anxiety. In less than 10 days, this alluring little island had become like a second home, albeit one that I couldn’t afford. From the residents that welcome you like old friends to the secluded stretches of sand that seem sequestered just for you, Mustique makes exclusive feel enchanting.

And my top tip? Pack plenty of insect repellent. French for mosquito, Mustique is home to thousands of the little buggars. 

Looking for more luxurious escapism? Check out this dreamy Amalfi Coast road trip, or read my review of the five-star Palazzo Pascal.